TO SUGGEST THAT JESUS would be a passenger on my bus is probably as wrong as some of the Christian songs today that sound like he wants to be my boyfriend.
However, it is a metaphor I have used to describe my bad theology.
It doesn’t line up with the Lord of lords or the King of kings in any way, as I imagine Jesus actually rides on a bus no more than the President of the United States.
Jesus never said, “Together, you and I are the way and the truth and the life.” Or, “Together, we’ll make a great team.”
He never said, “After you read my book, you’ll be as smart as me.” Or, “I need you to drive.”
And he certainly did not say, “You’ve been with me so long now that I’ll just see you in heaven, and in fact, you’re so special, I’ll save a seat for you right next to my Father.”
These things are not found in Scripture, but they are found in “The Gospel According to Me”. Well, let me say, they were found in my book of truth until I had been in the wilderness for about four years.
That’s about how long it took before I noticed independence and self-sufficiency were things I learned long before I met Jesus and they were the sins that caused Eve to disobey God and eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
It all makes sense to me today, but while I was in a perfect storm, I could not understand what I needed to learn that I had not already learned from many years of Bible study.
Until I knew better, I thought God was like my earthly father, who taught me to be independent and self-sufficient. I thought my heavenly Father was proud of my success in life, and the fact that I was able to get up after failures and press on and fight the good fight.
It never occurred to me that he brought the perfect storm in order to break me free from the lies of “The Gospel of Self”.
It never occurred to me that I was supposed to die to my self-image, my self-importance, my self-reliance, and the entitlements I thought due to a responsible person and church lady.
What baffles me today is how I confused the tenets found in the “American Dream” with the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I failed to see how embracing the benefits of the land of opportunity would, in fact, not set me free but put me in bondage, not unlike the hamster on his wheel inside a cage. The only difference is that the hamster did not choose his confinement.
For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved.—2 Peter 19
It may be difficult to understand how a good life, filled with love, respect, significance, and security could be no different than the life of a person in prison, spending his time in solitary confinement.
It may be even more difficult to understand when that good life also includes a devout faith in Christianity. For me, I know that I would not have understood before my perfect storm.
What I know today is that in my life, during the “good times”, I lived more for myself than I did for God, even in my church service.
Until I reached a place of nothingness, where my total dependence was on the grace of God, I could not see that I worshiped my independence and wanted it back more than I wanted to trust where Jesus was leading me.
It is a painful experience to come face to face with the truth and I shall never forget the day I was given a choice to go back to my “old life” or to continue on this journey to see what the Lord intends for my life, the life he purposed for me before I was ever born.
I cannot remember, but I was probably grumbling and complaining about my circumstances when the Lord spoke to me.
After all I have done, do you still not trust me?
Is there something you need that you do not have for this day?
Do you want to leave as others have done?
Am I not more valuable to you than money and people and things?
Simon Peter answered, Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words (the message) of eternal life. And we have learned to believe and trust, and [more] we have come to know [surely] that You are the Holy One of God, the Christ (the Anointed One), the Son of the living God.—John 6:68-69 (AMP)
John 8:34, Romans 7:24, 2 Peter 2:20-22, I Timothy 3:7
As always, it is my intent and hope that my words may encourage you wherever you are in your journey.
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If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.–Jesus (Mark 4:23)
