IT NEVER OCCURRED TO me that I would be like the foolish man who heard Jesus’ words yet built his house on sand. In fact, I always thought Jesus was describing a person who did not know God. Until my house came crashing down when the storms of life hit. Matthew 7:24-27
Me, the church lady.
Me, the real Christian, who tithed and spent hours in church every week.
Me, the Sunday school teacher, and Bible study leader.
Me, the volunteer, who used her talents to help others in need of answers to life’s most difficult questions.
I was very comfortable in my faith, in the spring of 2008, (after losing half my income in one day with the cancellation of two consulting contracts) when the Lord asked, Do you trust Me?
It wasn’t a difficult question, though I was surprised, for he had never asked that question of me before.
I remember smiling as I assured him that I trusted him, and with fondness and pride, I reminded him that I didn’t live my life in fear as I had done before we met.
The following year, he asked again, and I remember smiling as I recalled the many times in my past where he stood in the gap when I faced dragons and giants, of which I was facing then.
Lord, of course, I trust you. I’m just having a hard time getting the right doors opened, with the economy in the tank right now, and I need your help. And please be quick before I run out of money again.
The third time, after no doors opened, the Lord asked again. Do you trust Me?
This time I wasn’t smiling.
I remember saying: Are you trying to tell me I don’t trust you? I said I trust you and all I’m hearing is that I’m supposed to write.
That cannot be coming from you.
I need to work.
So, here’s the deal.
Maybe I don’t trust you, and if I don’t, then why don’t you show me where I don’t?
And you can get ready to be wrong.
And by the way, it takes money to DO nothing but write.
Just saying.
Life is an adventure when it includes the Lord.
It is like a ride in a convertible with the top down, but when Jesus is the driver and you’re the passenger, the word comfortable will not be the way you describe the journey. Especially if you ask him to show you where you do not trust him.
This is not because He will scare you to death with the bumpy and unknown path he chooses through the darkest valley where there are red ants in the green pastures and alligators beside the quiet waters.
No, the journey is uncomfortable, at least in my case, because he is driving.
And now the control freak knows.
It took quite a while to see because I thought I should be driving, and I continued to fight him for the wheel.
I guess he would have given it to me, except that he had something to prove. And I did, after all, ask him to prove to me where I don’t trust him.
I hate it when I’m wrong and especially with something I am so confident about. But, the church lady must confess to you that I am still a hypocrite.
I wasn’t pretending when I said I trusted Jesus, but my behavior over the following seven or eight years proved that I did not.
I cannot say why the Lord chose this time in my life to show me his patience instead of turning his back on me as I deserved, but I can say that I am eternally grateful nonetheless.
While I have not trusted him, He has been amazingly trustworthy.
“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”—Mark 9:24
Proverbs 16:20, Jeremiah 17:7-8,2 Corinthians 5:7, Isaiah 43:2, Psalm 143:8, Proverbs 3:5-6, James 1:6, Psalm 91:1-2, Proverbs 29:25
As always, it is my intent and hope that my words may encourage you wherever you are in your journey.
Please share your thoughts in the comments below or go to the group tab above to share your own experience. It only takes a minute of your time to register (and you can be anonymous), and your words may help others.
If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.–Jesus (Mark 4:23)
