The Strategy of Forgiveness

FORGIVENESS IS THE ONLY way to reconcile the negative feelings that occur when bad things happen.

In doing so, you wipe the slate clean, as if you are erasing the balance due to you and declaring the account between you and your offender “paid in full”. 

There is no other way to get rid of negative feelings, and while it doesn’t seem fair, it is a beautiful strategy for wholeness, the objective of every human being. 

Of course, when we are offended, we want retribution. 

We want the offender to pay. And if he will not or cannot pay, we want revenge.

An eye for an eye.

But even if the offender could pay, there is no payment known to mankind that can reconcile the negative feelings inside the human soul.

That work, and I mean real work, is up to you. 

Forgiveness is a difficult strategy to practice because we tend to connect it with justice, but justice requires punishment for the offender. However, when you are the offender, it is not justice that you want, but rather, mercy.

When you’re staring up at the police officer that has announced how much over the limit you were speeding, you’re hoping for forgiveness rather than the ticket that will cost you $250.00, right? 

The problem for most of us is that we did not learn the power within us to get back to wholeness through forgiveness, and as a result, we stored a record of “balances due” from our past. 

In doing so, we harm ourselves and do all sorts of crazy things to try to rid ourselves of the negative feelings we carry.

We try to “be somebody” to prove someone was wrong when he or she made us feel like a “nobody”, and we still, even after decades, remember that bad thing that happened like it was yesterday. 

It’s not that we necessarily wanted to take the road we took to “even the score” but we didn’t know we could forgive that person and take the road we really wanted to take. 

The beauty of forgiveness is that there is no statute of limitations on the choice you make to wipe the slate clean.

This very day, you can forgive your parents, teachers, coaches, friends, family, strangers, and enemies for every memory you carry in the front of your mind, and while God needs no forgiveness, you can forgive him, too. 

You don’t even have to contact these people; it’s work you can do for yourself and by yourself. 

Once done, you’ll have to remind yourself that you forgave your offender when the memory pops up again, which it will.

You can remind yourself that you aren’t still nursing that wound, and you can now feel the feelings that come when you forgive that person while knowing they may not deserve to be forgiven and you no longer need them to earn it.

That event is yesterday’s news and you can celebrate your wholeness again. 

One of the best ways to develop the habit of forgiveness is to practice asking for forgiveness. 

When you know you have offended someone, whether you were justified in your behavior or not, be sensitive to their loss and ask forgiveness.

You could say you’re sorry, but if you want them to make a conscious decision to forgive you or not, be bold and ask, “Will you forgive me?” 

It’s none of your business if they really did or not, but if you sense the offense pops up for them again, ask forgiveness again. “I apologized for that, but I’d like to ask again. Will you please forgive me?” 

If you do this right, you will begin and end every day with a clean slate, with no one owing you and you owing no one anything.

This is the way to wholeness and holiness is the only way to happiness. 

But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. –Jesus Matthew 6:8-15 (NKJV)

Micah 7:18-19, Colossians 1:13-14, Daniel 9:9,Isaiah 1:18, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:13, Matthew 18:21-22

As always, it is my intent and hope that my words may encourage you wherever you are in your journey.

If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.–Jesus (Mark 4:23)

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