AT THE RISK OF being condemned by the church people, I want you to consider the possibility of a dark side to God.
To say there is a dark side of God may seem blasphemous, but it is my perception—and you may take it as only my opinion of reality—that God has a dark side.
To believe that God has no dark side is a contradiction to what you will find in the Old and New Testament of the Bible.
For example, God told Abraham to take his son Isaac up a mountain and sacrifice him as a burnt offering.
If Abraham had run down to the church to get the opinion of others, what do you suppose they might say about Abraham? My guess is they would have thought Abraham was off his rocker or listening to the devil, and then called Child Protective Services to get Isaac out of harm’s way.
How could a good God do something so evil?
You may recall the atrocities performed at the hand of Saddam Hussein, who thought of himself as the reincarnation of the former murderous king of Babylon, Nebuchadnezzar.
God said in the books of Daniel and Jeremiah that he put the evil Nebuchadnezzar in power.
Can this be the works of a good God?
Also, contrary to popular belief, it was not Satan’s idea, but God who gave Satan the idea and authority to destroy, but not kill Job, a man God declared as righteous.
It was God who said, in the book of Acts, that he chose Paul as an instrument to carry the name of the Lord before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel.
He also said, “I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.”
Would a good God cause pain and suffering to his faithful followers?
It was Jesus who foretold Peter’s brutal death. And it was Jesus who suffered so much angst that he sweated blood the night before his brutal death, and God who said that he gave his innocent son to die for the sins of the world.
Would a good God bring to death one he loved?
Jesus said there is no one good except his father, the God of creation. And, I believe, given enough time, Jesus will be proven correct. But, until that day comes, can you agree with me that God appears to be both good and evil?
I have learned that appearances can fool us.
It was my faulty belief—which is nothing more than my opinion rather than the truth—that if I obeyed God, he would bless me with a hedge of protection around me.
The belief was that God would protect me against the wiles of Satan. The belief was that if I were devoted to God, I would enjoy a full measure of love and security. And after eighteen years of following the Lord, God appeared to be all good.
And then the Lord appeared to change.
At first, I was concerned about how I was going to look to the world around me when I seemed to have fallen out of God’s favor, and my abundant life turned into scarcity.
But, still clinging to my faith as my life turned upside down, I was then concerned about how God was going to look to the world around me.
It seemed to me that we both had reputations to uphold, me being the faithful church lady, and he, well, he being a good God.
As he led me through my valley of the shadow of death, where my demons lived, and I did not rest comfortably by the still waters, the truth was revealed to me.
I learned that I have no clue what good is.
I also have no clue what evil is.
Good and evil are value words used to describe my perception of reality.
I learned that I do not have enough information to declare what is good and evil, but I do have enough faulty beliefs to think that I do.
Today, I have a better understanding of why Adam and Eve had to eat the forbidden fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil; why it was God and not Satan in control of that scene; why God set them up to disobey the only rule given; and why they had to be banished from their paradise.
If I can genuinely know good and evil, I can judge you and me, and I can judge God.
Like Adam, I blamed God for the horrible circumstances of my life, for bringing so much shame and humiliation upon me; for robbing me of the love, respect, significance, and security he had once provided.
I witnessed what I believed was nothing short of an unloving, uncaring, manipulative, lying, deceitful, and evil God.
As I began to face the reality of my thoughts about God, and while I was shaking my fists at him and screaming, “Why have you forsaken me?” I became smaller and smaller, like a pebble of sand in a vast desert.
And God became much bigger than I had ever seen him before.
For the first time since meeting Jesus, I stood in utter fear of God, the Almighty.
When life goes well, one does not need a big God.
The One who blesses the steps of a righteous, independent, and self-sufficient person; who plays Santa Claus and performs miracles will do.
But, when life does not go well, and one finds himself in his valley of the shadow of Death, at the end of his ability to save himself; this is where a big God can make a difference.
The difference between life and death.
I had no idea that I had eaten the forbidden fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and that in judging God, even subconsciously for years, Death caught me in his snare.
And the God of good and evil set me free. Once again.
Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm. He said: “Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge?
“Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me.
“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand.
“Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it?
“Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recesses of the deep? Have the gates of death been shown to you? Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
“What is the way to the abode of light? And where does darkness reside? Can you take them to their places? Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
“Surely you know, for you were already born! You have lived so many years!
“Do you know the laws of the heavens? Can you set up God’s dominion over the earth?
“Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him? Let him who accuses God answer him!”
Then Job answered the Lord: “I am unworthy—how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. I spoke once, but I have no answer—twice, but I will say no more.”
Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm: “Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me.
“Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself?
“Do you have an arm like God’s, and can your voice thunder like his?
“Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor, and clothe yourself in honor and majesty. Unleash the fury of your wrath, look at all who are proud and bring them low, look at all who are proud and humble them, crush the wicked where they stand. Bury them all in the dust together; shroud their faces in the grave.
“Then I myself will admit to you that your own right hand can save you.”
Then Job replied to the Lord: “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely, I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.
“You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’
“My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you.
Therefore, I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.” Job 38-42 Excerpts (NIV)
1John 1:5,Malachi 3:6, Hebrews 6:18, Romans 12:2, Joel 2:12-13, Jonah 3:10, Isaiah 43:18-19, Ephesians 6:13, Romans 8:28, Isaiah 41:13
As always, it is my intent and hope that my words may encourage you wherever you are in your journey.
Please share your thoughts in the comments below or go to the group tab above to share your own experience. It only takes a minute of your time, and your words may help others.
If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.–Jesus(Mark 4:23)
